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BDB: 4 extremely weird things happening in Florida (and one includes zombies)

Jessica Saggio
Florida Today
The Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Sheriff's Office has released a still from surveillance video of a naked man walking through a neighborhood on Woodlawn Way.

Florida's gloomy weather may be outside of the ordinary here in the Sunshine State, but even with this minor identity crisis one thing has completely unchanged: We still take the cake for weirdest news. 

Ahhhh. Home sweet home. 

Rain or shine, the show must go on for #FloridaMan, so let's review. 

4 totally weird things that happened in Florida this week

1. A zombie alert was issued in Lake Worth

Credit: Getty Images

Looks like the apocalypse really has begun, at least for the city of Lake Worth in South Florida. I mean, it makes sense, what with volcanoes erupting in Hawaii and tropical storm systems already looming, surely zombies aren't that out of the ordinary. 

A power outage alert was sent to residents in Lake Worth, but it came with an explanation that the electricity interruption was due to "extreme zombie activity." 

The alert read: 

"Power outage and zombie alert for residents of Lake Worth and Terminus. There are now far less than seven thousand three hundred and eighty customers involved due to extreme zombie activity. Restoration time uncertain." 

Note: Terminus is a city in "The Walking Dead, " so in case there was any question this is indeed a hoax. Although given incidents with bath salts in South Florida, the whole zombie thing really isn't that uncommon, just saying. 

“We are looking into reports that the system mentioned zombies,” said Ben Kerr, the city's public information officer on a popular Lake Worth Facebook page.“I want to reiterate that Lake Worth does not have any zombie activity currently and apologize for the system message.”

He said power was restored in 27 minutes. 

I mean, I see no issue here. You can never be too prepared for a zombie apocalypse. Lake Worth just got a little extra practice. 

Now as for who did this? I don't know, but round of applause, everyone. Thanks for making today interesting. 

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2. Florida man arrested for yelling where babies come from

In case anyone missed their 5th grade health class and needed a refresher ... 

A 30-year-old man was arrested in Clearwater Beach after going onto a playground, climbing to the top of the jungle gym and yelling to a crowd of children a vulgar explanation of where babies come from. Obviously from storks, you mad man. Get out of here. 

Either way, it was a science lesson no one was anticipating. Parents rushed to get their children away from the weirdo and a nearby police officer took him into custody. He was charged with with disorderly conduct, found guilty and fined $118, according to the Associated Press. 

3. People are mutilating alligators

Look. I know alligators are kind of mean. They eat puppies and would probably eat a baby if given the chance, but that doesn't mean you go around chopping their heads of ISIS style. 

That apparently is a thing happening here in Florida and the Fish and Wildlife Conversation Commission is investigating. At least three alligators have been discovered mutilated in the Tampa area: Some with missing heads and missing tails. 

Fox 35 reported that the tails were likely poached to sell and the heads could have been saved as a trophy. 

Just a friendly reminder that not only is it jacked up to do this kind of thing, but it's totally illegal. It's a felony in Florida to harm a gator as such. Sure, we have an alligator season when you can legally kill them, but FWC requires a permit and that's only kosher August 15 through November 1 during the designated hunting season. 

This whole thing is almost — emphasis on almost — as weird as the gopher tortoise eating guy in Martin County. True story. A 28-year-old Lake City man was arrested trying to catch gopher tortoises so he could eat them. Luckily, he was busted before he got them on the grill and issued a fine. The tortoises were returned safely to their burrow. They're an endangered species, dude, expand your pallet to those dang lubber grasshoppers. We've got plenty of those, it's equally as weird to eat and they have no predator. Boom. 

4. A naked guy was tasered for running in the rain

Woot Woot Pensacola represent. 

In the case we needed more reason to give away the Panhandle to Alabama and Mississippi, here's another little ditty to add to the file. A Gulf City man (which is up by Pensacola) was tasered after police say he was running around in the rain naked. I mean, we've all been cooped up for days with this rain. Guy just wanted a little freedom, no?

Well, freedom isn't free sir, it comes with a criminal record. 

A home security camera captured footage of a man roaming around naked, according to an arrest report. The man passed by a front door where at the time two children and a babysitter were inside. A second call came in to police that indicated the man was at another home, this time he was um, particularly excited to be there. 

Police caught up with the guy who was, in fact, completely nude and holding a can of cooking spray? Police had to chase the guy down and pry the cooking spray out of his hands, because normal. 

The deputy couldn't quite catch him... maybe because he was all greased up with cooking spray? ... so he had to whip ou a taser. That did the trick. 

Police arrested the guy he's booked in jail. 

More:SRSO: Naked Gulf Breeze man tasered after walking through neighborhood, carrying cooking oil

... and here's an extra one for good luck

This one didn't exactly happen in Florida, but it involves a Florida-based company, so what the heck. 

5. Publix bakers unleash their editing skills

High five to the Publix bakery in Charleston, South Carolina, that awkwardly edited out the word "cum" from a graduation cake that was supposed to say "Summa Cum Laude." It wasn't weird before, but now it definitely is. 

A mom hosting a graduation party for her 18-year-old son wanted to get him a special cake emphasizing his stellar 4.89 GPA. So she ordered a cake from Publix personalizing it to say "Congrats Jacob, Summa Cum Laude, Class of 2018!"

Instead, when the mom picked up the cake the bakers edited out the word "cum" and put two dashes on the cake with the explanation that the request was profanity. 

In case there's any confusion here, "cum" means "with" in Latin and the whole statement translates to "with the highest distinction." Get your mind out of the gutters, Publix. 

The grad, who appropriately enough was graduating from a Christian home school program, was mortified. Publix refunded the mom for the cake and gave her a gift card. 

I am so done. 

Keepin' it weird, America. Always keepin' it weird. 

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About BDB:

Boiled Down Brevard is an irreverent daily column that puts a quirky spin on today's news. We "boil" it all down. To get BDB daily, download the Florida Today app and allow notifications. We'll send you an alert every evening.

Follow Jessica on Twitter at @JessicaJSaggio.

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